I wasn't driving my eleven year old Peugeot 306 at the time. A friend had borrowed it, and was cruising along a nearby main road in the small hours, when a whole troop of 'sangliers' emerged from the gloom and dashed across right in front of him. No time so much as to even touch the brakes - bang, air bag deployed and literally exploded in his face, the car slid off the road, and to add insult to injury, its rear end came off worse in a collision with a concrete post.
The second time in less than a year that a friend has destroyed a motor of mine - before it was my cherished 205, ancient but low mileage, and in impeccable nick. A write-off, with only third party insurance, and no one else involved.
On the plus side there were no serious (human) injuries in either instance. Despite a couple of years in 'non-violent' Thailand, for an instant or two I did contemplate inflicting a few injuries of my own, but decided on a positive approach. If it's a write-off, that'll be one less insurance premium to cough up every year. C'est la vie, mai pen rai, that's life.
Wild boar are a major hazard on French roads. Their numbers are increasing rapidly, despite the efforts of hordes of French hunters. Several reasons why this is so - some boar were crossbred with domesticated pigs a few years back in France, and cochonglier litters are bigger than those of pure bred wild boar. More examples of man messing with nature - corn is one of the boar's favourite delicacies, and production of this cereal is expanding. Mild winters, increasing acreage of wooded areas, the power and influence of the hunting lobby... all have contributed to an explosion in the boar demographic. Their numbers have grown tenfold in the last thirty years.
Even Obelix and his valiant tribe of Gaules would have trouble making major inroads into their numbers. There are an estimated million boar in the wild in France, despite hunters accounting for half that number in annual kills. And despite an estimated ten thousand plus being involved in road accidents each year, around the country.
Should you be unfortunate enough to bump into one of these beasts in your motorised travels, and be tempted to take it home for a few weeks' supply of boar stew - don't. This is banned under French law - roadkill of any form must be left on the side of the highway, and the police informed. Penalties are extremely severe. Why? Because hunting with illegal weapons is strictly prohibited. Clearly a car can be used as a weapon, and should you sneakily stuff your freezer with your ill-gotten gains, in the eyes of the gendarmes this is undeniable evidence of intent to deceive and therefore of your nefarious poaching habits, courtesy of your car.
A boar killed in a collision on the public highway belongs to the state, in the same way as a ship wrecked along the French coastline. Attempting to argue that putting a 4,000 euro series of dents in your car and destroying the engine is a rather expensive way of knocking off a boar for your supper will be in vain. In French law, it's a case of guilty until proven innocent.
Our apologies to the boar.